So it’s official, now. They’re back out in the spotlight. I’m just as thrilled about this idea as the next person, believe me. In a way, it’s oddly comforting for them to be out and about. It reminds me of summer and concerts at night and an uncontrolable smile across my face. And all this talk of the guys and the new album gets me thinking about how far they’ve come. It’s quite amazing, when you take the time to think about it. Not that long ago they were just three kids running around in the East Bay, playing music simply because they wanted to.
…And I’ve realized how appealing that simple little belief is.
The East Bay has been a place of great interest for me, and I can’t really explain why, aside from the fact Green Day stemmed my liking for it. I don’t know… there’s something about it that has a certain ‘mythology’ I just can’t put my finger on. There’s really something facinating about the whole thing; I want to go there and be able to see Gilman St. To think abou the place’s history and all the cool graffiti on the walls…it just makes me smile. I like picturing myself someplace where people can just come together and share this love of music and experience something all at once. I love that whole idea- that music brings us together and we can all take something from it no matter who we are.
…But there’s a teensy dilemma that comes with all this knowledge. I’m not a native of the East Bay, nor will I ever truly be. No matter how much I’ve read and dreamed and heard about Gilman St., I’ll probably never be able to fully understand. That saddens me a little, because I want to go to a place like that and experience everything first hand. I want to walk in there with the sam sense of awe Billie and Mike had- to put myself in thier well-worn shoes- and be at a place solely out of my love for music.
Unfortunately, the door to Gilman is closed to me, now… I’m not sure if I’ll ever be able to set foot in inside the brick building and stand wher my heros have stood. Suddenly, that line from “the Grouch’ comes to mind: ‘Wasted youth and a fistful of ideals/I had a young and optimistic point of view.’ I do believe I have a fistful of ideals- that’s where all my dreams are. I’m just afraid of that fist suddenly unclenching, letting all the ideals float away like pathetic leaves. I don’t want to become that person Billie Joe is singing about- lazy and jaded at 24 or however young. I want to be able to go places and do whatever my heart’s desire is…
It’s kind of amazing, isn’t it? That a song and a band can make you think so much about yourself? I don’t know why I’m drawn out to the East Bay… I guess I’ve just heard about it so much and I still have that youthful idealism that fools me into thinking every place outside my ‘picket fence’ is better than what I’m used to. Isn’t it ridiclous that I know the names of streets and clubs in a city I’ve never been to?? Sometimes it’s a bit maddening to have all these visions in your head of what those places look like. Unfortunately, the Romantic aspect of my brain kicks in, and I picture everything bathed in warm sunlight and blue skies.
But I still want to go. I’m jsut afraid that it won’t be like I expected- that it’ll turn out like that Rancid song, “Journey to the End of the East Bay.” ‘This isn’t Mecca!’ Tim Armstrong bellows. And I’m left feeling stupid for wanting to go. -That’s not optimistic of me, though. I know that if I go, I’ll like it.
I hope it’s a cesspool of music and history and Green Day and California-ness. :) I owe it to my teen-age self to go, at least. I have to know, for some reason, what it’s like. I don’t want to go on thinking what could have been… so maybe someday I’ll get out there. And I’ll owe it to Green Day; I owe so much to them as it is… ;)
I guess…I’ve got my fistfull of ideals held sky-high.

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